car link: February 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010

Travel Update

Adding up the trip to Colorado, MckMama and "MckDaddy" will have both been away from their children for 29 days since Saturday, January 16. For those who don't want to whip out the calendar, that is 29 out of 54 days.

29 out of 54 days.

Twenty-nine days that four children, ages 5, 3, 2, and 1, will have been without their parents. They're not with their grandparents, or aunts and uncles. Since they don't have a nanny (MckMama says), they're not in the care of any caregiver who knows them in and out or cares for them daily.

They are with a "really great friend" while their parents are on self-imposed vacations several hundred to several thousands of miles away. Is it work-related? Maybe for her you could kinda sorta argue it for the trip to Tennessee and Kenya, but not for the cruise or Colorado.

But how can anyone justify Israel McKinney, a contractor who owns his own business, leaving his many small children for almost an entire month in 2010 for any reason?

One last comment to ponder while we're discussing if we can write these four trips off morally as "business trips" (I'm certain they will be writing them off fiscally): would not going affect their income in any way? Would a boss fire them? Would the blog fall apart and cease to bring in money?

No? THEN DON'T GO.

One would think that mommy/parenting bloggers would/should be with their children in order to write blogs about being parents. Not to mention the benefit the four small children would have from having parents at home instead of galavanting around as a "really normal mom on tour" (from her Twitter).

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Maybe....

...we need a new poll?? From the comments today on her stream of consciousness - Colorado style post:

Ok so a friend sent me a link to a stupid website that is all negative about you and your blog..I caved and read a few entries out of curiousity and shock that people have time to set up a blog about this sort of well..crap..anyway, as you know J I have been reading your blog for over 18 months and I totally like you and what you have to say. I also do not care what others say about you. So with that being said I hope you do not take this wrong but I really hope you do not read that blog and then respond to it..their was a post about you not showing any of the kids toys and then today randomly you show this pic of the legos..please tell me it has nothing to do with that blog and its negative people?

Anyway, for the first time that just kind of bothered me and while you dont owe me or anyone explainations I just hope that you dont give those people the time of day by responding in anyway to their negativity..

I feel guilty for even reading some of that blog and I wont be returning to it..
take care,
erica h
in wa

And MckMama's reply:

Thanks for your sweet words! I took the Lego photo many days ago and randomly posted it this morning in my post. I don't ever read the dissenting stuff about us on the Internet. I have better things to do:)

A simple "Yes/No" oughtta work: Do you believe MckMama? Poll's on the right! No login required on polls, so let's hear from the lurkers!

Domestic Violence, Part 1

MckMama and her MckDaddy are guests today at the "Focus on the Family" seminars in Colorado. Why they're there, who paid for their trip, what they needed to do to be guests, who knows. Hopefully they are not there to disperse advice in any form, but the trip came complete with a Mck-approved advertisement:

I have had a hard time writing a post on the domestic violence charges, even though commenters have asked for it. I have gone through and read the posts around "MckDaddy's" arrest and it's obvious that things weren't great. I feel bad for MckMama of 2008. What would I write if I were in MckMama's shoes? What would you share with strangers? The truth is, I wouldn't share this information if I were MckMama and I don't think many others would volunteer it either.

BUT (and it's a big but).

I would not preach marriage advice repeatedly over the next year, especially advice that does not apply to relationships involving domestic abuse. I saw this on another blog:

NO domestic abuse information or expert supports a wife becoming more submissive after domestic violence, and for a national blogger to praise these methods as saving her marriage after abuse could be detrimental to other women with marital and spousal abuse issues who read the blog.

Equally as concerning is her take that the problems were her fault for not being more submissive. No spouse deserves abuse for any reason. Period.

The second part of my big BUT is if the dirty laundry does get aired (as it was for MckMama), and public records are available, don't continue to lie about what happened on your blog. You're just asking for someone (like me and the commenters here) to shoot you down for it.

Once again, MckMama spun the truth - two arrests were one, time served was now "no jail time", and relatives moved in on a whim, instead of because Israel McKinney being ordered to not have unsupervised contact with his wife while on probation.

Spin, spin, spin. It's a common theme in the MckMama world.

Here's the facts, so I'm not just rumor mongering:

You can find the information here: http://pa.courts.state.mn.us/
Case numbers: 27-CR-08-42701 and 27-CR-08-46901

First arrest: 07/02/2008
Domestic Assault-Misdemeanor-Commits Act With Intent to Cause Fear of Immediate Bodily Harm or Death

And some blog posts...
From July 8:

"As our personal struggles have not been something I often feel the desire to blog in depth about, I have kept mum as to the recent storm that has broken directly over my husband and myself during the past week. This storm has driven me hard into the arms of my Savior and, as unbelievably difficult as this is to weather, I know I am in the Right Place, close to my Lord."

From July 10:

"For reasons at this point entirely out of our control, Prince Charming will not be able to go to the appointment with me this morning and--yes--I am going alone."

Second arrest: 08/25/2008
DOMESTIC ASSAULT-MISDEMEANOR-COMMITS ACT TO CAUSE FEAR OF IMMEDIATE BODILY HARM OR DEATH

Nothing after this arrest about "MckDaddy". It was, however, an OB appointment day to check Stellan's heart.

COURT DATE: November 3, 2008.

And from the weeks following:
November 9:

I deserve a break today. Actually, deserve isn't the right word. As a matter of fact, it's probably not even close to the right word. Because, if I was being honest with myself, I'd tell you that what I really deserve is death. I deserve to be separated from God for the evil that is in my heart and for the wrong that I have done and, if you must know, continue to do.

What I deserve is to die a slow, painful death like Jesus did. He never sinned, and yet He had to die like that. I sin every day, and yet by the grace and mercy of God, I know life. I do not experience what I deserve. I am at the same time humbled, thankful and awestruck that I should have even the chance to receive forgiveness for my wrongs and for the terrible ways I sometimes choose to think and act.

Oh, sure, I'm Supermom. We all know that by now. That is what this blog is about! My Charming Kids. All four of them. God's work in Stellan's life and in my heart. How I feed them organic food and take them on outings. Heck, we just got back from the Children's Museum where we spent the entire day playing and learning. I'm a wonderful mom. I'm a super mom. It's fun to talk about that. And, truly, that is what I intended this blog to be about.

And that's okay. This mostly one-sided blog. It's fine and healthy and entertaining and fun for me to talk about my life as a mother.

But what is not so fun is the truth that I am significantly less than super in a throng of other areas in my life. I repeatedly require forgiveness for the same shortcomings. I need grace and mercy on a minute-by-minute basis.

November 13:

....Prince Charming and I decided to let his teenage brother move in downstairs. Tonight. He's moving in.

November 18:

And, just like that, Uncle Duke moves back out. Ahh, fickle teenagerhood. Wait!? What am I talking about!? I'm 31 and I'm still fickle. So, no hard feelings.

November 24:

"But, Prince Charming's mama was looking for a transition (PC's dad died when we were in high school and his mama raised Uncle Duke and now had been living by herself since he graduated high school and moved out.). I say "had" because she moved in to our lower level this weekend--Oh, with her dog, too. Gotta keep life interesting over here!--so she could stay with us through the winter and spring."

Current Legal Status for Israel McKinney: Satisfied 04/09/2009. The "Queen Mum" moved some time in May/June 2009. Date unknown.

More information on her marriage posts and "spin control" coming in Part 2.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Did she or didn't she?

UPDATE: From Twitter - "Driving back from the Watters' house. Wonderful time! Missing our kids, who are at home sleeping soundly! Tomorrow is a BUSY day for us." 7 minutes ago

Looks like their priorities are once again in the right place. Hiking and dinner with strangers instead of home caring for their many small children.

ORIGINAL POST:
Thursday, February 18

"Getting ready to head to Colorado next week for a couple days. Wow, we are like the crazy traveling family lately. But it's fun. And important stuff!"

Saturday, February 13

"I think we're going to bring our kids to Colorado this month so that we don't have to be away from them so much so close together since they aren't coming to Kenya."

And here we are, Wednesday, February 24. She's in Colorado. "Prince Charming" is in Colorado. But are the children, the ones who make up her family, the ones that she doesn't want to be away from because they leave for Kenya next week, with her?

What do you think? I put up a poll - take a second and vote in the right rail and we'll see how accurate our "jaded" readers are when MckMama reveals how many people got on that plane - ~~two~~ two and a fetus, or ~~six~~ seven!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

the most important thing

"There was a little piece about my blog and our family on the news yesterday. To be honest, I keep waiting for the media to grow weary of our story, but so far they have not. While it's nothing we are seeking out, we are very open to sharing our story with whomever asks and in various forms. It's just that I don't think our story is anything more special than anyone else's. But, it is our story, it's how God has worked in our lives, so we will share, because our story is all we have!"

New post where MckMama explains the blog exists as a testament to God, and not to make money. Hmm.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Monday Challenge

Remember this post where readers tried to name characteristics that the kids have? Here's another one for you: what toys do the MCK have?

Poor Stellan had to play with his mom's camera strap while she snapped 6,489 pictures of him this weekend, but what else have you seen the MCK play with? Or what toys have you seen in videos and pictures? Anything colorful at all, other than the walls and the kids' oversaturated eyes?

With ~~four~~ five children, you would think an occasional toy would peek through, right? Once again, this should be an easy challenge....

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Woodland Creature Food....errr, Pizza Pockets

MckMama addresses her not-so-healthy eating habits by saying she's "almost as much into nutrition and woodland creature food as I've ever been," but she says almost "because as I mature (Ha, ha, ha! I wish!), I am slowly realizing that I am not in control."

She says she is "not in control of my husband, my marriage, my children's lives, their ultimate eating habits, etc" but goes on to say she is trying to model good eating as best she can.

A favorite quote of commenters: "I've just stepped off my high nutritional horse a little. And back into reality. And the reality remains that I love to make healthy stuff for our family!"

Also noticing that her pictures are taking on new editing tactics. Gone are the unnatural eye colors, and the new, hip Lightroom preset action is a 50s flashback with rounded corners. What do you think of the new action style? Is it something you're gonna try, or should the faux faded look stay as gone out of style as beehive hairdos?

Edited to add: You can find a similar Lightroom preset to the vintage style MckMama is using here.

Friday, February 19, 2010

A Commenter Post Request

From commenter LovinTheSunshine:

"What was your "Ah-Ha Moment?" What was the red flag that started to put questions in your mind (about MckMama)? I'm curious as to what others have to say! Thanks!

Thanks Lovin for the suggested post!

My red flag was her interviews on April Rose after the "Trifecta" blog post claiming we should all trust the three bloggers and leave it alone and stop asking questions. I will admit to being completely naïve and trusting to that point, even while she was in Boston (though I did not always agree with or even read posts about things that weren't my cup of tea). Follow that flag with a bunch of previously undisclosed and fraudulent information that was counter-intuitive to her lifestyle, and I was suddenly seeing through the pretty, oversaturated pictures to the real woman behind the blog.

When was the moment you began to question MckMama?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Kenya

MckMama mentioned in her newest stream of consciousness post that she and "MckDaddy" are leaving in a week and a half for Kenya for a trip with Compassion International. Since this is a topic in the comments on other posts and she brought it up, I figured I would start a new thread.

Please note that this is not a mission trip, but an all expenses paid business trip. You can read more about "Compassion Bloggers" here. Bloggers will "begin an adventure in Kenya that will take them to the Maasai tribe, through the largest slum in the world and into the homes and hearts of Compassion children. Come here daily to make this journey with them through their words, pictures and videos."

What I don't understand is why "MckDaddy" is going on this trip. Will the children of Kenya benefit from him tagging along with his wife while she takes pictures and writes blog posts about their homes and hearts, or would his time be better spent taking care of his own home and the hearts of the children he fathered?

What exactly will he be adding to this trip? And what could the money it will take to get him to and from Africa, pay for his room and board, as well as all his meals for a week be used on instead for these children of Kenya?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Moderating

It's not big news that MckMama heavily moderates her site. Many commenters have said they have had their comments removed, or watched it happen. Sometimes she leaves comments up, then refers to them on Twitter, as she did today, sending readers to her site (one would assume) to defend her. Most of the time though, she deletes the comments and blocks the commenter. Sometimes it's warranted, but there have been plenty of times where it isn't, like asking how many hours a day of help she has, or questioning the vaccinations required for her Kenya trip while pregnant.

Today, I have a question about the malicious intent of both MckMama and her readers. After sending the "sheeple" to her site to read the "bitter naysayers" comments, she failed to comment on, delete, defend, or otherwise address this reader, leaving her to the mercy of some vicious sheeple, and leaving me wondering how egotistical, uncaring and uncouth MckMama really is.

Here's part of the thread:

Emily 5 hours ago
You have all different types of readers, I happen to be one that has a hard time getting pregnant and when you go on about how your past two pregnancy's were not "planned" it really gives me a knot in my stomach. I guess I just need to stop reading.

Linda 3 hours ago in reply to Emily
Personally, I think this is way too much information for me. We all know how babies are made and I just didn't need to read it. If you didn't want any more babies, perhaps birth control would be an option.

I am sorry, Emily, that you had to read this post....

I, too will probably stop reading this blog.

Pamela 3 hours ago in reply to Linda
kaseylharrison and 1 more liked this.
Really???? You both are a little ridiculous! First of all, the Lord is the one and the only one who opens and closes wombs... He always has been. So, getting jealous over someone who the Lord has chosen to open their womb is ridiculous and sad. I am sorry that you are having a hard time getting pregnant, but don't steal the joy from someone who is. AND Linda, maybe you are just not enjoying life like the Lord intended. Sex is meant to be enjoyed and there is defiantly NOT too much information here... it is simply real. They were not planning on having anymore babies, but that does NOT mean that they did not WANT anymore. ALSO, PS... birth control is not 100% effective.... we are living proof, had two babies on birth control! ---- FYI, if your going to leave hate comments, it might be better for you to not read her blog anyhow!

amyoconnor 2 hours ago in reply to Pamela
Ugh! No kidding. I don't understand the people that feel that they need to say something not so nice or sometimes just down right nasty. This is Jennifer's blog about her life. If they don't want to read about her life, her pregnancy, her kids, then they can "click the red box in the corner" as she says. I wish more people could just be happy for others. I personally have a good friend who's baby was due one month after my youngest was born. The doctor decided to induce early since the due date coincided with his vacation (first indication to ditch him, IMO). To make a long story short, the doctor basically killed their baby by trying to force her out before she or the mom were ready. This lady is the godmother to my children now. She still has not been able to become pregnant again and I think she would be elated if we were to become pregnant again. I feel bad for and pray for those who are unkind regarding this issue.

AmberFilkins 2 hours ago in reply to Pamela
Pamela, you obviously haven't walked in their shoes. Obviously. I understand 110% where they are coming from and I know their comments didn't come from a hateful place. Matter of fact, I've taken THREE pregnancy tests in the past 2 days, and each time, negative. I've had 2 miscarriages in the last year, and it took us a year to conceive after the first one. My last mc was in October, and we've been trying ever since. So YES, it IS hard to read all of this, even though you can still be happy for a person. It is heartbreaking. My first daughter was unplanned, and I was a single mom for 5 years. So I'm from both sides of the track here. You need to not jump down their throats.

Cyndi 1 hour ago in reply to Pamela
OMG...seriously? "the Lord is the one and the only one who opens and closes wombs.." So the women who have a hard time getting pregnant it's b/c the Lord doesn't think they should?

SandieMN 1 hour ago in reply to Pamela
Holy crap! I have never heard any one speak the words "the Lord is the one and the only one who opens and closes wombs". I honestly cannot believe you threw that one out to some who has difficulty getting pregnant. You have no tact. Emily, it doesn't seem fair sometimes, I know.

stephywubba 20 minutes ago in reply to SandieMN
Gen. 20:18--The Lord closed all the wombs of household of Abimelech
Gen. 29:31--The Lord opened Leah's womb
Gen. 30:22--The Lord opened Rachel's womb
1 Sam. 1:5--The Lord closed Hannah's womb
1 Sam. 1:6--The Lord closed Hannah's womb

JamieV 54 minutes ago in reply to Linda
Nobody FORCED you two to read this blog. You knew she was pregnant and you can see the title of this post and CHOOSE wheather ot not to read it. Sorry for your infertility issues, Emily, but that doesn't mean you have to bark at other people joys and excitements. And Linda, you don't need to read it either. It's a choice that you have. If you can't find joy or humor in someone else's story then you need to get a life. Seriously.

Jessica 3 hours ago in reply to Emily
I'm really disappointed that you've taken her news that way. I can't speak for her but I don't think she had ANY intentions of going on and on about an unplanned pregnancy, nor did I feel that she did.

It's *her* story and although it might not be the same as yours, this is her space to share it. Just because you haven't been as blessed, or had as much luck (however you want to look at it) doesn't mean that you must criticize others for being excited about events in their life or say that they shouldn't "go on and on" about their circumstances.

Clearly, unplanned or planned, her and her husband are considering this one of God's greatest blessings. I wish everyone could view it that way, too.

LittleLlamas 3 hours ago in reply to Emily
would you rather her lie and tell you they struggled with infertility for years? This is her story. She happens to be fertile... and can get pregnant very early after having a baby (not this time after stellan, but after the others.,..got pregnant VERY soon) Regardless... this is HER story. Praying that YOU will one day have a glorious story to share with the world. Hate that her sharing her story would deter you from reading. But there are a lot of blogs out there sharing the pain of infertility. it is painful for sure.... but her pregnancies, though unplanned, were never unwanted or accidents. There is no need to criticize her sharing the truth of her story... they were surprised by pregnancies. They weren't trying to get pregnant... but they did. And they have given all glory to God and loved every blessing he has given them. THAT is to be commended.

Tessa 3 hours ago in reply to Emily
Emily, Jennifer has been very conscious of keeping women like you in her thoughts and words during this pregnancy of hers. I can relate to you in a way. I want to adopt SO BADLY and we are not in a financial situation to do so, nor do we live in a large enough house to bring in more children. I hope I can someday, but I do get a twinge of jealousy when I see other families with adopted children or talking about it. I can see where the feeling comes from. It's just that we have no right to make someone else feel bad for the ways they have been blessed just because our time has not come for that yet. It's nobody's fault that you are unable to conceive just as it's nobody's fault that I am not in a position to adopt. It's our responsibility to own our own feelings and not project the onto others. God Bless.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

"Welcome, Number 5"

Yet. Another. Post. This one talks about how she told "MckDaddy" about baby #5, who, by the way, despite months and months (and months) of talking about babies, being upset she wasn't pregnant for the first time in a year since their marriage, and ogling over newborns and saying over and over she wasn't pregnant, is a total surprise. As in, not planned, nary a thought in her head.

And yes, she says they know what causes this. The real question is do they know how to prevent it from happening again??

he is so special

No, not "MckDaddy". The fourth child, last to get his own personal update, "Nuggey".

Three posts in one day, totaling, like, 2,000 words. And that's just MckMama's part!

"MckDaddy" is ok (?)

Sorry, no link. All posts by "MckDaddy" are in the archives of mckmama.com, so if you really want to read his post, you have no choice to click through.

If you are only partially tempted to click through, I'll just let you know now it's running at over 1200 words, so if you couldn't get through yesterday's post (900) words, you'll have an even harder time today.

She's sick

Didn't you hear? Mckmama is tired and sick. She just mentioned it for the ~~45th~~ first time on her blog in a dedicated blog post. All things organic and healthy and made from scratch (because that's how she rolls) make her puke. Just a few of her organic dietary items I'd like to find at my Whole Foods: