Travel Update

Adding up the trip to Colorado, MckMama and "MckDaddy" will have both been away from their children for 29 days since Saturday, January 16. For those who don't want to whip out the calendar, that is 29 out of 54 days.

29 out of 54 days.

Twenty-nine days that four children, ages 5, 3, 2, and 1, will have been without their parents. They're not with their grandparents, or aunts and uncles. Since they don't have a nanny (MckMama says), they're not in the care of any caregiver who knows them in and out or cares for them daily.

They are with a "really great friend" while their parents are on self-imposed vacations several hundred to several thousands of miles away. Is it work-related? Maybe for her you could kinda sorta argue it for the trip to Tennessee and Kenya, but not for the cruise or Colorado.

But how can anyone justify Israel McKinney, a contractor who owns his own business, leaving his many small children for almost an entire month in 2010 for any reason?

One last comment to ponder while we're discussing if we can write these four trips off morally as "business trips" (I'm certain they will be writing them off fiscally): would not going affect their income in any way? Would a boss fire them? Would the blog fall apart and cease to bring in money?

No? THEN DON'T GO.

One would think that mommy/parenting bloggers would/should be with their children in order to write blogs about being parents. Not to mention the benefit the four small children would have from having parents at home instead of galavanting around as a "really normal mom on tour" (from her Twitter).

Maybe....

...we need a new poll?? From the comments today on her stream of consciousness - Colorado style post:

Ok so a friend sent me a link to a stupid website that is all negative about you and your blog..I caved and read a few entries out of curiousity and shock that people have time to set up a blog about this sort of well..crap..anyway, as you know J I have been reading your blog for over 18 months and I totally like you and what you have to say. I also do not care what others say about you. So with that being said I hope you do not take this wrong but I really hope you do not read that blog and then respond to it..their was a post about you not showing any of the kids toys and then today randomly you show this pic of the legos..please tell me it has nothing to do with that blog and its negative people?

Anyway, for the first time that just kind of bothered me and while you dont owe me or anyone explainations I just hope that you dont give those people the time of day by responding in anyway to their negativity..

I feel guilty for even reading some of that blog and I wont be returning to it..
take care,
erica h
in wa

And MckMama's reply:

Thanks for your sweet words! I took the Lego photo many days ago and randomly posted it this morning in my post. I don't ever read the dissenting stuff about us on the Internet. I have better things to do:)

A simple "Yes/No" oughtta work: Do you believe MckMama? Poll's on the right! No login required on polls, so let's hear from the lurkers!

Domestic Violence, Part 1

MckMama and her MckDaddy are guests today at the "Focus on the Family" seminars in Colorado. Why they're there, who paid for their trip, what they needed to do to be guests, who knows. Hopefully they are not there to disperse advice in any form, but the trip came complete with a Mck-approved advertisement:


I have had a hard time writing a post on the domestic violence charges, even though commenters have asked for it. I have gone through and read the posts around "MckDaddy's" arrest and it's obvious that things weren't great. I feel bad for MckMama of 2008. What would I write if I were in MckMama's shoes? What would you share with strangers? The truth is, I wouldn't share this information if I were MckMama and I don't think many others would volunteer it either.

BUT (and it's a big but).

I would not preach marriage advice repeatedly over the next year, especially advice that does not apply to relationships involving domestic abuse. I saw this on another blog:

NO domestic abuse information or expert supports a wife becoming more submissive after domestic violence, and for a national blogger to praise these methods as saving her marriage after abuse could be detrimental to other women with marital and spousal abuse issues who read the blog.

Equally as concerning is her take that the problems were her fault for not being more submissive. No spouse deserves abuse for any reason. Period.

The second part of my big BUT is if the dirty laundry does get aired (as it was for MckMama), and public records are available, don't continue to lie about what happened on your blog. You're just asking for someone (like me and the commenters here) to shoot you down for it.

Once again, MckMama spun the truth - two arrests were one, time served was now "no jail time", and relatives moved in on a whim, instead of because Israel McKinney being ordered to not have unsupervised contact with his wife while on probation.

Spin, spin, spin. It's a common theme in the MckMama world.

Here's the facts, so I'm not just rumor mongering:

You can find the information here: http://pa.courts.state.mn.us/
Case numbers: 27-CR-08-42701 and 27-CR-08-46901

First arrest: 07/02/2008
Domestic Assault-Misdemeanor-Commits Act With Intent to Cause Fear of Immediate Bodily Harm or Death

And some blog posts...
From July 8:

"As our personal struggles have not been something I often feel the desire to blog in depth about, I have kept mum as to the recent storm that has broken directly over my husband and myself during the past week. This storm has driven me hard into the arms of my Savior and, as unbelievably difficult as this is to weather, I know I am in the Right Place, close to my Lord."

From July 10:

"For reasons at this point entirely out of our control, Prince Charming will not be able to go to the appointment with me this morning and--yes--I am going alone."

Second arrest: 08/25/2008
DOMESTIC ASSAULT-MISDEMEANOR-COMMITS ACT TO CAUSE FEAR OF IMMEDIATE BODILY HARM OR DEATH

Nothing after this arrest about "MckDaddy". It was, however, an OB appointment day to check Stellan's heart.

COURT DATE: November 3, 2008.

And from the weeks following:
November 9:

I deserve a break today. Actually, deserve isn't the right word. As a matter of fact, it's probably not even close to the right word. Because, if I was being honest with myself, I'd tell you that what I really deserve is death. I deserve to be separated from God for the evil that is in my heart and for the wrong that I have done and, if you must know, continue to do.

What I deserve is to die a slow, painful death like Jesus did. He never sinned, and yet He had to die like that. I sin every day, and yet by the grace and mercy of God, I know life. I do not experience what I deserve. I am at the same time humbled, thankful and awestruck that I should have even the chance to receive forgiveness for my wrongs and for the terrible ways I sometimes choose to think and act.

Oh, sure, I'm Supermom. We all know that by now. That is what this blog is about! My Charming Kids. All four of them. God's work in Stellan's life and in my heart. How I feed them organic food and take them on outings. Heck, we just got back from the Children's Museum where we spent the entire day playing and learning. I'm a wonderful mom. I'm a super mom. It's fun to talk about that. And, truly, that is what I intended this blog to be about.

And that's okay. This mostly one-sided blog. It's fine and healthy and entertaining and fun for me to talk about my life as a mother.

But what is not so fun is the truth that I am significantly less than super in a throng of other areas in my life. I repeatedly require forgiveness for the same shortcomings. I need grace and mercy on a minute-by-minute basis.

November 13:

....Prince Charming and I decided to let his teenage brother move in downstairs. Tonight. He's moving in.

November 18:

And, just like that, Uncle Duke moves back out. Ahh, fickle teenagerhood. Wait!? What am I talking about!? I'm 31 and I'm still fickle. So, no hard feelings.

November 24:

"But, Prince Charming's mama was looking for a transition (PC's dad died when we were in high school and his mama raised Uncle Duke and now had been living by herself since he graduated high school and moved out.). I say "had" because she moved in to our lower level this weekend--Oh, with her dog, too. Gotta keep life interesting over here!--so she could stay with us through the winter and spring."

Current Legal Status for Israel McKinney: Satisfied 04/09/2009. The "Queen Mum" moved some time in May/June 2009. Date unknown.

More information on her marriage posts and "spin control" coming in Part 2.

Did she or didn't she?

UPDATE: From Twitter - "Driving back from the Watters' house. Wonderful time! Missing our kids, who are at home sleeping soundly! Tomorrow is a BUSY day for us." 7 minutes ago

Looks like their priorities are once again in the right place. Hiking and dinner with strangers instead of home caring for their many small children.

ORIGINAL POST:
Thursday, February 18

"Getting ready to head to Colorado next week for a couple days. Wow, we are like the crazy traveling family lately. But it's fun. And important stuff!"

Saturday, February 13

"I think we're going to bring our kids to Colorado this month so that we don't have to be away from them so much so close together since they aren't coming to Kenya."

And here we are, Wednesday, February 24. She's in Colorado. "Prince Charming" is in Colorado. But are the children, the ones who make up her family, the ones that she doesn't want to be away from because they leave for Kenya next week, with her?

What do you think? I put up a poll - take a second and vote in the right rail and we'll see how accurate our "jaded" readers are when MckMama reveals how many people got on that plane - two two and a fetus, or six seven!

the most important thing

"There was a little piece about my blog and our family on the news yesterday. To be honest, I keep waiting for the media to grow weary of our story, but so far they have not. While it's nothing we are seeking out, we are very open to sharing our story with whomever asks and in various forms. It's just that I don't think our story is anything more special than anyone else's. But, it is our story, it's how God has worked in our lives, so we will share, because our story is all we have!"

New post where MckMama explains the blog exists as a testament to God, and not to make money. Hmm.

Monday Challenge

Remember this post where readers tried to name characteristics that the kids have? Here's another one for you: what toys do the MCK have?

Poor Stellan had to play with his mom's camera strap while she snapped 6,489 pictures of him this weekend, but what else have you seen the MCK play with? Or what toys have you seen in videos and pictures? Anything colorful at all, other than the walls and the kids' oversaturated eyes?

With four five children, you would think an occasional toy would peek through, right? Once again, this should be an easy challenge....

Woodland Creature Food....errr, Pizza Pockets

MckMama addresses her not-so-healthy eating habits by saying she's "almost as much into nutrition and woodland creature food as I've ever been," but she says almost "because as I mature (Ha, ha, ha! I wish!), I am slowly realizing that I am not in control."

She says she is "not in control of my husband, my marriage, my children's lives, their ultimate eating habits, etc" but goes on to say she is trying to model good eating as best she can.

A favorite quote of commenters: "I've just stepped off my high nutritional horse a little. And back into reality. And the reality remains that I love to make healthy stuff for our family!"

Also noticing that her pictures are taking on new editing tactics. Gone are the unnatural eye colors, and the new, hip Lightroom preset action is a 50s flashback with rounded corners. What do you think of the new action style? Is it something you're gonna try, or should the faux faded look stay as gone out of style as beehive hairdos?

Edited to add: You can find a similar Lightroom preset to the vintage style MckMama is using here.